Weird Science
by israelbauman
Summary: Takes place during CODE:Impossible, Drakken is away at a conference and he runs into a certain someone, could this be love...


I own none of the characters listed but my own

Every year, the robotics industry, much like any other group, gets together for the purposes of showing off new technology, the thrill of presenting design advances, and generally (as is the style for any group composed largely of nerds and geniuses) to subtly scream 'screw you! I'm the smart one!' at the competition.

Which was the reason that everyones favorite mad scientist was stalking the crowd as covertly as he could get.

'How in the hell does Shego pull off the whole 'incognito' thing so well' world-renowned and self declared evil genius Theodore 'Dr. Drakken' Lipsky thought to himself, subconsciously scratching at the grease paint covering his head, hands and part of his forearms.

Though the lab accident that gave Drakken his skin tone had some positive aspects, like an upgraded immune system and an inexplicable resistance to radiation (which came in quite handy the one time he was stupid enough to order spare parts for a power unit from 'Crazy Dimitri's House of Surplus Soviet Science) however, it also made him more recognizable than most, hence the need to cover his appearance.

Which was the reason he was a bit irritable at the moment, usually Shego or one of the henchmen handled the task of mundane chores like picking things up, or running arrons, but this was different.

Over the past few weeks, Shego's normal mock, tease, pester, then laugh routine had taken the direction of pointing out the fact that he really didn't get out much. That could be the result of her running out of other topics, seeing as how he had made few attempts at world domination as of late, or it could be her enjoying a steady relationship with someone for once and wanting to covertly rub it in his face.

Shego dating Ron was also one of several reasons he out here in this god-forsaken city attending a conference anyway, she had been taking care of that disgusting rodent the young man carried around for the past three days and ever since the unfortunate 'rabid badger' incident, he felt a bit uncomfortable around mammalian creatures smaller than a great dane.

Not that he didn't feel the need to get out once in a while, he just preferred to do it on his terms. Therefore, when he heard about an international robotics conference, he practically jumped at the chance to stretch his legs. The only downside to the whole thing was the location.

Drakken honestly hadn't the slightest idea why anyone would willingly live in the San Francisco Bay area, let alone the city proper. 'The air is contaminated, the homeless problem is out of control, the people are more snooty than anyone I went to collage with, and aside from being denied the right to smoke indoors, one gets to davel in the wonders of extortionary pricing just to buy a pack of cigarettes! And these people call ME insane!...'

And thus Drakken's internal rant continued on unabided as he trudged toward the hotel's bar. The day had started well enough, (the Barrington Arms San Francisco had an excellent breakfast bar) and he had planned a wonderful day stumbling blissfully through the many set ups, he had even intended to attend some of his colleagues more fascinating presentations. As it turned out, that was a bad plan.

After an interesting few hours, the Dr. had wandered into the presentation hall and spotted one of the few people that would be able to notice him, and most likely be able to tell that 'Dr. David Lippowitz' and Drew Lipsky AKA Dr. Drakken were the all the same individual. The person in question being the ever droll father of his teen aged nemesis, Dr. James T. Possible.

Having not known that James was scheduled to speak at this conference at all, and out of the fear of recognition, ergo apprehension by the authorities, coupled with being boxed in with some damned jumpy Otaku doctor named Hal to his left and a woman who could have made DNAmy look positively anorexic on his right, he had no other choice but to stay for Jame's presentation on the practical applications of robotic grapple technology in the aerospace industry (an application of which he had no interest at all) for three and a half hours.

After the unpleasantness had finally come to a halt, Drakken found himself in a light sense of zombification, stumbling toward the exit as fast as he could with both legs asleep wondering how Anne put up with a man who could put a cinder block into a coma. In his haste to leave, Drakken never noticed the blond woman recognize his familiar form and follow his lead out the door...

It was 8:30 and the conference was winding down for the evening as the mad scientist slipped out of the convention hall and made his way toward the Green Room Lounge nestled in the corner of the hotel lobby. The lounge itself was quite comfortable, a throwback to the days when Inspector 'dirty' Harry Callahan roamed the city streets outside. Paneled in faux oak, with green vinyl and velour everywhere, Drakken sauntered to the bar and poured himself into a stool.

"Bar keep," Drakken said while raising his right arm, "wild turkey, and make it a double."

The old man tending the counter just nodded, placing a glass in front of him before he reached on to the shelf behind him, turned around, poured the whiskey into the glass, put the bottle back and returned to polish the counter, all in seemingly one motion.

Drakken blinked at the old man's efficiency and took a sip of his drink. He finished quickly and made a move for the pack of Marlboro's in his jacket pocket before realizing he was sitting in the epicenter of the American Socialist Movement and naturally it wasn't possible for someone to have a smoke indoors.

He raised his arm again with the intention of asking if there was some kind of smoking area, but before he could say anything, the bartender just pointed to the outside entrance of the bar. Drakken nodded, perplexed with the old man's ability to seemingly read minds, and stepped outside. He was followed moments later by the blond woman who had stopped for moment to look for her own cigarettes before heading outside as well.

Drakken had just lit up when he heard the door swing open and someone approach him.

"Do you have a light?" A very lightly accented voice said from beside him.

Drakken turned around to face the stranger and stopped when he got a look at her.

'Damn' seemed to be all he could think of when he took in the sight of the woman beside him. She stood about 5 feet 6 inches in heels with a gorgeous figure. She was clad in a black skirt, a blue satin blouse, and a black jacket. She had shoulder length blond hair, and a mole under her left eye. Her face had sightly oriental features and she had an almost unnoticeable smile on. And he wasn't sure why, but she seemed familiar somehow...

"Well..." she said, snapping him from his revalrie.

"Oh, right," he said mentally smacking himself for his inability to focus, while bringing out his worn zippo and allowing her to light up.

"Thanks," she nodded

"Quite alright, miss..."

"Doctor," she corrected.

"Oh sorry, Doctor..."

"Akagi, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi" she concluded, "and it's fine Dr. Drakken."

Drakken's eyes got wide for a moment, "How did you..."

She smiled wider, "Las Vegas, last June, the Rio?"

He blinked, "you belong to the guild too?"

She nodded, "yeah, good work blending in, if it weren't for the scar and the scowl I might not have noticed you during that terrible presentation."

Drakken smiled a bit at that, "you aren't a fan of Dr. Possible either?"

Ritsuko merely rolled her eyes, "he knew the material well enough, but he's such a damned bore, I could barely keep my eyes open."

Drakken nodded, "at least you didn't have to bunk with him in collage."

She shrugged, "no, my roomie was a lazy drunken nymphomaniac."

"Ouch" they both concluded at the same time, although they were both smiling as they said it.

"So," Drakken said after a fashion, "do you live around here?"

"No, Boston" she said with a wave.

Drakken pondered that for a second or two before raising an eyebrow, "MIT?" He said

Ritsuko nodded her reply and threw her spent cigarette down, promptly reaching for a new one. Drakken held out his lighter before she could even ask.

The two stood in silence for a few minutes while they both respectively took stock of the situation and of they're own problems and various neuroses.

'Dear god she is stunning!' thought the mad doctor while he puffed away at his cigarette and attempted looking as nonchalant as possible, though he wasn't doing a particularly good job, his palms were a bit sweaty already. 'What should I do? Think damn it! What did I do the last time I asked a woman out..."

Flashback: ...blank... Flash foreword:

Drakken visibly flinched. The last time had gotten any, _positive _attention from the fairer sex was in collage. Annette was having a small disagreement with William again, and felt the need to make him jealous, and to work out some of her more, animalistic frustrations.

Thusly, when she spotted the first available man in the hall, i.e. Drakken, she shoved him into into the nearest bathroom stall and told him in no uncertain terms that he was going to pleasure her and proceeded to jump him.

Not that the young Dr. Drakken had minded one bit, he was actually quite thrilled, the future Mrs. Birkin was quite the looker really, he just wished at that moment that he had been the one to initiate that, he might have some clue as how to approach the current situation.

Ritsuko wasn't fairing much better, she had more practice at concealing emotions then her blue counter part, so she could hide her panic a bit better.

'Oh great, he's nervous too, prefect." she concluded to herself. Dr. Akagi, despite the knowledge of some incredibly tough subjects, social interaction was never her strong suit. It could be argued, of all the things that she could have inherited from her mother, her taste in men might have been the strangest.

It had led her to sleep with Gendo, (though that was the only one she truly regretted) it also led her to bone both of those maniacs from B3S when they were doing contract work for NERV. Needless to say, her love of slightly psychotic men led her to the Interdimensional Guild of Mad Scientists, she had gotten messages from them before, but she didn't join up until she decided to leave Japan.

After the last of the angels had been eradicated from existence, and the two aforementioned idiots had left for their next assignment, there had been much discussion about what had to be done with NERV. After everyone had said their piece, and all things considered, it was decreed all militaristic aspects would be re-absorbed into the JSDF, the Evangelion project would be mothballed in case of further use, and the remaining NERV personnel be given the choice of continuing in the research division, or be made to sign an all-inclusive NDA (non-disclosure agreement) pertaining to all of NERV activities and be allowed to take a job in the private sector. Ritsuko chose the latter.

In her opinion, she had spent enough time in the presence of udder madness. She may not have wanted much more to do with the likes of Stivers and Bauman, but she certainly did owe them. Between their perverted antics, disdain for Commander Ikari, and their _unique _way of handling the plans for the Second Impact and the Instrumentality Project (and by extension their quiet disposal of SEELE and the 'matriarch' angels) she lost all feeling for the elder Ikari, and in turn felt she needed to move on, leading her to assist the two goons in those final two goals.

No one (save for a select few individuals) would ever know how close they came to becoming one big pool of LCL, and thanks in part to her efforts, that would never happen again.

In an effort to distance herself from those events, and Commander Ikari who had become... more unstable after it became clear he couldn't return to his beloved Yui, she took work in the United States, at MIT, who was more than happy to have her to head up their theoretical physics department.

She was happy with the way things had turned out for the most part, but she never had found that special someone, although it may have been from a lack of trying. It's not as though she was in a position where she could get out much, and the few times she had, well, her intellect scared them off. Although from what she knew about Drakken, that shouldn't be an issue.

Returning to the present, she placed a hand on Drakken's jacket. "I could use another drink, how about we head back in?" She gave him another smile.

Drakken looked at her and smiled too, "that sounds like an excellent idea, Dr. Akagi" he said back with a nod.

She managed to suppress a giggle and briefly wondered why. "Please, call me Ritsuko."

* * *

After they had parked themselves at the bar, Drakken ordered another wild turkey, while Ritsuko went with a sake-driver (a screwdriver with sake substituted for vodka) and the two began to speak about everything, from their childhood to the start of their careers, the two had a lot in common being only children in their respective homes, about the time they reached the point of tipsiness, Ritsuko had made the call for a bottle of tequila, and thus the night moved on in leaps and bounds...

"And when we ran outside, we found him in front of Misato's car wearing an afro wig, on his knees, with his hands in the air, wiggling his fingers while the car was on fire and upside down, while a boom box was playing Foxy Lady" Ritsuko said while giggling.

She had gotten onto the topic of B3S's shenanigans while they were in Tokyo, and that was enough material to last her for hours, not that Drakken was complaining by any stretch of the imagination, he thought this crap was hilarious.

"And the little one did that?!" Drakken laughed, nearly snorting Jose Cuervo through both nostrils (which would have put a damper on the evening thus far) "sounds more like Chris's kind of stuff."

"No, it was Andrew, even that old bastard Ikari got a smirk out of it, at least until he found out while Andy was channeling Jimmy Hendrix, Chris was using the hood of Gendo's Mercedes like a drum." Ritsuko giggled again.

"That doesn't sound so bad" Drakken said between laughter.

"He substituted a sledgehammer for a drumstick" she said with a smirk.

They both collapsed into laughter for several minutes.

"Say," Ritsuko said drunkenly, "I could go for another smoke, how about you?"

Drakken looked to the outside window where a light drizzle began to come down. "I think it's raining." he said with slightly more clarity than his drunken bar mate.

"Aww," she said with pouty lips "What should we do about that?"

"I've got a smoking room upstairs" he whispered in a conspiratorial tone, leaning close to her ear, unconsciously giving her goosebumps.

"My, my Doctor, what a naughty head you have on your shoulders" she added batting her eyelashes

On a normal day Drakken may have been at a loss for words, or may have stumbled a bit, but he was far too drunk and frustrated to care, and as he had a beautiful woman beside him making suggestions, he was in no mood to disagree. In short, Drakken was a man on a mission, the most noble mission a heterosexual social introvert could undertake, he was going to get lucky.

"You could say that, wanna find out how naughty?" he said with the raise of an eyebrow.

Fortunately for Drakken, Ritsuko had come to the same decision, she was too 'loose' to have any inhibitions left at this point in the evening, and she was sick to death of feeling physically starved.

"You bet your blue ass I am," she whispered as they both stood drunkenly and began to hobble out of the bar into the lobby.

Halfway to the room, in the elevator approching the 23rd floor, Ritsuko pried her lips away from Drakken's long enough to give him a look.

"You lied about the smoking thing just to lure me up here didn't you?" she said with a grin that obviously told him she didn't care either way.

He responded with a smile that threatened to consume his face. "No I didn't, there's an ashtray in my room."

"There's no such thing as a smoking room in this hotel," she said while running her hands under his shirt, 'good god! He's got a six pack and a brain!' she thought with glee.

"That's because I brought it in. I'm on a forged ID, they can send the bill to my fake name, and I think this is our floor." He choked out despite having to stifle a slight moan.

After collapsing through the door, the two of them just managed to kick the door shut before falling on to the bed with Ritsuko on top straddling Drakken's lap.

She leaned close in and whispered, "How long has it been for you, hmm?

"When did the Challenger blow up?" he asked a bit sheepishly

"1986"

"Okay it was about 3 years after that."

She gave him a sympathetic look that melted into lust after a few seconds. "Well I think we should fix that right now..." She said before she began to peel off his clothes.

"One thing though" she said huskily with both hands on his belt.

"Anything..." He murmured as he stared into her eyes.

She leaned closer, "promise you won't be gentle" she smirked as she tore off his belt in one smooth motion.

* * *

Drakken awoke with a pounding headache and a mild sense of repressed euphoria the next morning.

"Oh, that was an incredible dream..."

"Did it live up to what happened before we passed out?" interrupted a voice to his left.

Drakken looked over to see Ritsuko, wearing one of the hotels guest robes, sitting at the rooms desk, holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee and giving him a grin reminiscent of the cat that ate the canary. She had a pot of coffee brewing and there were two plates of waffles and eggs sitting on a room service trey next to her.

Then the memories from the night before came rushing back in one big whirlwind, causing Drakken to blink. 'Damn, she even ordered breakfast too, she might be perfect.' He thought with a smile. "If that was a dream, that must mean this is too, right?" His smile grew brighter.

"I suppose so." Ritsuko agreed wondering where he was going with this.

He got out of bed and moved up closer to her. "Then dope me up, cause I don't feel like rejoining reality." he ended his statement by wrapping her in a passionate embrace, which after a second or two he felt returned three-fold.

"What should we do now?" Ritsuko asked as she smiled into his neck.

"There's a few days left of the conference, let's figure it out later." He said as he rubbed her back.

"Okay." she agreed quietly. She felt very secure in his arms at that moment, which is a feeling she didn't get very often. 'That's if I decide to let you go today,' she thought. 'If ever.'

Years later they would look back at that day, and think about how lucky they were to have found each other. If but fore the grace of God, Fate, anti-smoking regulations, and like many good things, tequila!

End.

Author's Note: before you complain, I'll point out the following: 1) Yes the second impact never happened in my version of NGE, it was my way of setting the whole show into the B3S Universe. 2) I hate Gendo Ikari. 3) I like cross universe pairs (because it prevents 'Mary Sue' like OCs. 4) This takes place during the events of CODE: Impossible. 5) Another chapter of CODE: Impossible will be out as soon as I get the dialog straightened out. 6) Check my Bio, I'm a Republican, I don't like San Francisco's politics. 7) Finally, I'm Not done with this pairing, not by a long shot.

Cheers,

Israelbauman.


End file.
